So yesterday I was thankful. I felt nervous all day, but other then that, not an entirely bad day. Josh didn't work so we were able to spend some time together.
Today, not so much. I don't feel nervous, but I am angry. I'm pissed. I haven't been on Facebook in a while and I was today, and came across someone that just had a baby. Two days after Riley was born. Beautiful baby, happy pictures. Now all I feel is anger, resentment and jealousy. Like a dark cloud that surfaces right before a thunderstorm, you look up and wonder when that got there. I am intelligent enough to know that these feelings do no good, but today I feel tired of trying. I am tired of trying to pretend I'm not mad or upset. I want to get in a fight, beat someone up, express some of my pent up hostility.
This is nasty, horrible and I would never do this, but dammit today I'm done. Tomorrow may be another story, in five minutes it might be another story.
But right now.....
God, you are on my shit list right now.
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