14 May 2012

Lessons Learned

Happy belated Mother's Day to all the Moms out there! I hope that everyone had a great day, working or at home with the family.

My Mother's Day was great, anytime spent with the family is wonderful, although still a little bittersweet for me. My own Mother passed away a few years ago, and my youngest son passed away a year and a half ago. A little deep for this early in the morning? Well, this is something that I was thinking about last night as I did the dishes. (Dishes on Mother's Day you say???...yes, I don't mind and the hubby fixed dinner.) I always think deep thoughts when I wash dishes, it's my meditation time I suppose. I think about my Mother's Day, and everything I have to be so thankful for. I have a wonderful 6 year old son, and a 5 month old daughter, who just recently started sleeping through the night (shhhh, don't say it too loud or she will hear).

Are they not the most precious little munchkins ever!

As I said, I started thinking about all of the wonderful things to be thankful for. When things happen that go against our "plan" for life, we have choices on how to handle it. We can choose to let it destroy us, or choose to rise above and learn from them. Thats what I decided, instead of focusing on the loss in my life, I decided to focus on what I have learned. I can raise my arm and shake my fist at the heavens, but all that does is bring my bingo-wing arm fat directly to eye level, and that just makes me feel worse, so why do it?

I want to share that with you now, what I feel I have learned. As I type this, my two little loves are sleeping soundly, and I am thankful for a few quiet moments this evening.

So, I my Lessons Learned....

I have Learned that People are Precious. Hold them dear.

I once thought that I had checked off enough boxes in the "sorrow" catergory, and that I was fairly untouchable for a while. But no, tragedy struck and my son passed away. I learned a lesson that people are precious. Time does not stop, there is no rewind button. You can't go back, only forward. So, give them a hug. Put your kids as a priority, not the evening TV shows. Tell them you love them, all the time. Call your Mom back when she calls you a few times and you think you are too busy. Stop what you are doing, really look and pay attention to your friends and family. People are precious. Hold them dear.

I have Learned that it's okay to have a mess once in a while.

I once heard a quote that I loved, "A great Mom has dirty floors, dirty ovens and happy kids". I tell you what, my kids must be flipping ecstatic all the time. Never mind if I heard myself say that quote to myself when I was mentally bartering with myself on whether to clean or play. This Saturday I was trying to undo what the week had done to my house, and in my cleaning frenzy, I see my son lugging a box of toys down the stairs to play in the living room. I saw his grinning face, all ready to destroy my clean living room have fun playing in the living room. Now I had a decision. Do I tell him to turn around and play in his room? Or do I let him come downstairs and instead of think about the amount of a mess that he will make, think about the amount of fun he will have... I glanced to the stack of dirty dishes (my kitchen has been in a perpetual state of chaos all week as I have made 3 cakes this week!) and then back to him. I put down the sponge and thus began an epic battle of Lego's versus Transformers, with an assist from some army men.

I have Learned to celebrate the small things.

Life is hard, sometimes really hard. I try to celebrate the small things. With my son, he started Kindergarten this year, so watching him learn and grow is fantastic. It's the small things that really can make your day, if you focus on them. Him remembering to wash his hands after the bathroom, with no reminders from me. Even if it's crazy or odd. Anyone with a child that has had constipation issues can understand how odd it can be to stand over a toilet and cheer for a poop. When you flash to that moment, you realize that your life has really changed as a parent when you cheer for #2. Yay for poo! But, celebrate the small things. When you have a bad day, think of all the things that went right, even if it that the car started and you didn't get a flat tire of the way to work.

I have Learned to remember all of the things I love about being a Mom when my child is acting a fool and I want to leave him on a neighbors door step.

Seriously, have you had those moments when you are staring at your child wondering where they came from, what is possessing them, and who you can give them to. I try to remember all the things I love about being a Mom. It helps. Sometimes. I love the unsolicited "I love you's". I love snuggling in bed watching a movie. I love the look of pure happiness. I love the look of awe when they are seeing something new for the first time. I love when they are sleeping and they look like little angels. I love kissing his soft little cheek. One day there will be stubble there.

 That look of awe right there. We went to Sea World and he saw Shamu for the first time. Ignore the diva sunglasses, it was bright and I gave him my sunglasses.

I have learned many things from my loss. One great thing I have learned is that I work for a great company, full of great people. Our world is changing, and we are lucky to have a great company with solid direction. I have received so much love and support during my 11 years at Lowe's, full of good times and rough spots. I got married and had three beautiful children (not actually in the store, although I always wanted to play a joke on people when I was pregnant). I will forever sing the praises of the wonderful company I work for.

I will leave you with this. Give them a hug and tell them you love them.

And I will leave you with a few pictures of the most perfect baby ever!!

This one is extra funny because it looks like she is trying crazy hard to fart on Jessica's hand. That's my girl!!

1 comment:

  1. I love you more than you will ever know.
    You are a fantastic mom and I just wish I had your patience at times.